new things….

Today I am in PDX, tomorrow I leave for LAX. New things.

I haven’t posted much lately and am taking a sabbatical while the job hunt gets more serious. I am also have some other things in the works and my end this blog and transfer as apart of a new amazing thing that I a friend and I are working on though we have yet to start our google doc (HA! Inside joke that is SUPER funny). 

I may do the new project and just revamp the blog. I don’t know. decisions.

Meanwhile, I miss you all. Saying goodbye to Philly and now Portland (again) is hard. I am excited for LA but will miss the rain and the people and my home.

 

black and white….

So you have to excuse my kdrama phase. The nursing job hunt in LA is super hard and depressing and kdrama and thinking about my personal kdrama experiences helps me get through the lack of rejection letters. ‘LACK of rejection letters!’ you say…no its not like that…its like I spend 6-10 hours on an application and hear nothing over and over and over and over. That sortof lack… not the good kind of lack.

Remember how I said W factored in all of my top 3 kdrama experiences. Well I take that back. Sorry W–it really has nothing to do with you–but my second biggest kdrama experience has to do with summer camp.

Some of you know about this–most of you. But it was so very black and so very white–pretty much the ideal kdrama. It was so very innocent and tragic with a hint of romance. Let me try and tell you.

It was understood that my brother and I were to grow up after our first year of college and not return home for the summer–not in a bad way, we were excited and supported in our flight from the nest. So after my freshman year I signed up to be a sailing camp counselor at Camp Sealth on Vashon Island in the Puget Sound.

I am not sure if you have been to summer camp but it is a very idyllic place–at least Sealth was. It was mainly white hues–laughing, singing, playing. A couple dark hues: bee stings, falls. Nothing gray–just white or black.

What followed was the one time I could see the line in the sand between old me and new me. I know there are other lines but this one was the only one time I could see it as it was happening.

There were 3 of us. Fish, our unit leader, Reeses my co-counselor, Tsunami [me--oh camp names]. I was on the beach with my windsurfing kids (with no wind) and our instructor Peace. Reeses was on STO [break] and Fish had her campers. A tree fell. A camper died. No others (not even 6 inches in front of her) were scratch.

I heard it from the beach–I saw the tree fall. I thought it was laughing but it was screaming . I grabbed crying kids. I didn’t see the body. Peace did. They did cpr for what I remember was an hour–I may be wrong but our camp house and teepees were a mile away from main camp on a rural island so it may have been an hour.

There was never any hope. Never. CPR was for preservation of things that could help others.

What came from this was so tragic and clear. I have never seen something else so apart from bias. A child dying from a falling tree–no one can argue that. A child dying that was apart of your responsibility. It hurt. If I had stopped the group heading up the path for 2 seconds longer with chitchat no one would have died. Just a good scare.

In the aftermath it was weird. Lots of crying and singing which sounds cheesie any place but camp. We had an amazing summer with so many memories that are crystal clear–like jumping and skimming my toes in phosphorescent water under the moonlight. Another thing was Peace.

I remember Peace singing softly and playing Romeo and Juliet across the campfire for me. There were 20 other counselors there but it was just for me. I knew and he knew and probably everyone else but we thought no one else did. He was there.

He was only supposed to be at Sealth for a couple sessions so he left after the camper died.

We had a group of kids a session later that we took kyaking in the bay across the island. On the van ride back we passed Peace’s car. He was back. Why was he back? BUT we were driving down and he was driving away– I missed him and he was leaving and I was crying in a van in front of my campers.

We walked up the trail to our cabin/teepees and there on the spot where our camper died on the trail was a note for each of us from Peace that he had left (and a present for me that my brother promptly lost).

He was staying.

We spent the rest of the summer together.

The thing about an environment that is so black and white is that it can never translate to gray. Peace and I never talked again after that summer. For a few years I wondered every once and awhile because he is the sort of person that could be alive windsurfing in Mexico or dead.

Now, I think of him as apart of that line in the sand. My first venture into adulthood.

How kdrama is that?!?!?!

Super kdrama.

and hard.

and missed–innocence.

my dress doesn’t cover a stadium….

Before Bjork.

I have been out and about with friends, with Macy’s shoes, and with kdrama. Kdrama is super hard (and I proud to say my neice is totally addicted as of last night!) because you really think ‘wow my life doesn’t have enough kdrama experiences–no one has ever kidnapped me and given me a makeover! my life has never been saved by Lee Min Ho (the City Hunter and Jin Pyo–heart throbs!)!!!’

But I got to thinking while slinging shoes the other day. Those who know me know I am a pretty mellow-at-first-with-tons-of-emotion-boiling-under-the-surface-kindof-gal; I have had lots of kdrama in my life! I even made a top 10 Lea Kdrama life experiences. Trust me there has been magic, love from tragedy, heartache, crush resolution, and long lost loves coming back! Granted these experiences have not all revolved around my leading man W but I would say the top 3 are, which is pretty good considering this is real life. Despite hope of the few who know (the cool club of those who watch) KDRAMAS are NOT real! Anyway—here is my #1 Kdrama love life experience.

1. Kdramas always have a romantic night that you dream of. Mine most romantice night/date ever happened in Iceland with W. It was magic and fairly simple. We went and saw Bjork.

Almost everyone knows who Bjork is but I feel like some Americans do not understand how insanely amazing and famous she is. You may or may not like the music but HER DRESS COVERED A STADIUM AND ALL THE OLYMPIC ATHLETES! She is the only one EVER who can say that. I love her and count her as one of my heros–every show she plays ‘Declare Independence’ and dedicates it to a group that is struggling,making her enemy number 1 to countries like, for instance, China when she dedicated it to Tibet.

So while in Iceland I got to see China’s enemy #1 in concert with only around 200 people, courtesy of Wesley who actually enjoyed the performance as well….so you see how this night was obviously up there to start.

Before Bjork we went to dinner at a random restaurant. I got the fancy chefs menu and it was AMAZING–the best dinner I have ever had and I have had some pretty good dinners. The chef made a fancy creme brulee and it had all this shaved mint ice and foam and fancy crap. Usually I am not game for fancy crap and prefer simple but this was AMAZING!!!

So Bjork, Iceland, Best dinner EVER…soooo magical kdrama. BUT its not over!!!! We went for a drink and a walk after Bjork and I was bemoaning not seeing the northern lights. After reading Philip Pullman’s triology (better than Harry Potter!!!)I have a very very soft spot in my heart for the northern lights [thin spot between universes in the books]. However I have never seen them despite going to AK once or twice.

So we were standing on a knoll in the middle of Reykjavik and as soon as I stopped whining about it the northern lights splashed across the sky. I was unbelievably and very rare because it wasn’t insanely cold yet. Our bus driver the next day said it was the best show of the last 20 years. Of course we had to have that magical kdrama kiss while under such an amazing sky.

It was the most magical kdrama night/date ever and I got to have it with W. I am one lucky heroine.

Below is the only picture I have that you can kindof see the lights.

one of those things….

Do you have a garment that people stop you on the street to ask about? I love those pieces.

Sometime last year I was at a vintage boutique and bought a huge oversized drapy shearling pink jacket. I had every intention of not wearing it until I spruced it up with black buttons but on the road trip out to pdx it was so warm and shiny that I decided to wear it while driving.

Now I wear it to work or coffee and women stop me all the time, everywhere. I think its because it is so very pale pink and so very shiny yet also thick and shearling.

Anyway, it makes me happy I bought this on sale on sale jacket.

hmmmm….

I am hmmmming because I am waiting for Amazon to upload some photos for  free cloud trial. What kind of computer storage do you use? Do you cloud compute? If so what do you recommend?

The above picture describes how I feel about all this. AAAAAHHHH and confusion.

I am at a crossroads. My Mac desktop is on its last legs and I think cleaning it up would really help–or make me feel better. I need somewhere to put all my photos and music.

I was thinking external harddrive but what if it gets smashed or combusts or something. You may laugh but I know of at least one person who lost all their family photos (scanned in!) from a faulty external harddrive.

So now I am thinking cloud memory. I hate trusting big corporations but it seems so easy AND then, once I get a job, I can get an external harddrive and have everything backed up 2 places. Not that I would be insanely devastated if I lost everything–a little devastated but not insanley so. I have the memories…and Facebook highlights.

nails r us….

I have never been super into nails–until last summer. Last summer I took my niece to New York and dragged her all over the city. After putting up with this she dragged me into a nail salon and I got my first  pedicure. It was amazing and now I tend to get all 20 digits done every so often and I ALWAYS get a design on one finger which makes it extra special.

My issue is that I will ruin my manicure in less than a day–usually before I leave the salon. Until now. Until I started shellacking!

Its fing amazing and my nails are perfect almost 2 weeks later! They are growing! My design is still perfect!

There is a photo above– I almost always do clear because of grunge-under-nail paranoia but there are a variety of colors.

no parents allowed….

Last week I started at Macy’s–at midnight on black friday in women’s shoes. Yes, it was insane. Yes, I missed out on being insanely merry [tipsy] on Thanks Giving but I also had to take my grandparents home so it wasn’t a big deal. Yes, I sat in Starbucks at 5am wondering how I was going to get through my last 4 hours of a 10 hour shift. No, I did not cry but I was close. Allinall I really like and am extremely excited to work at Macy’s during the holidays.

You see Macy’s is big on Christmas and I love it. Most adults get a wee bit cranky and frustrated but I love the lights, the music (especially this), the people, the cookies, the variety of traditions. It makes me smile. In fact the more grouchy others get, the larger my smile becomes. I frikin’ love it.

There is a video below that explains why I have an extra soft spot for Macy’s downtown. It features in my most prominent positive holiday experience. Macy’s used to be Meier and Frank and it used to have the best kid holiday land ever with no parents allowed.

Kids, and parents, would come from all over the Northwest every year for this Santa Land. You would climb up the stairs and board a tiny monorail WITHOUT your parents and off you go! You would tour the outer room–usually while punching and kicking your brother with newfound freedom–and wave at your parents below. Then you entered a secret tunnel.

This tunnel [hole in the wall] led to a Santa land that was so amazing and unimaginable that I lost memory of it was an adult. I get a feeling of snowflakes and glitter and miniatures below when I think of it. Its like that Christmas book about the kid who goes to Santa land on a train and gets a bell from a reindeer but then as he grows up he can’t hear it anymore. All I know is every kid would stop kicking their sibling, become silent, and just stare down in amazement. It was magic and a place parents would never see. It was so very special.

Both my brother and I got to go into Santa Land; as did my niece and nephew. It will be a hard search for something just a great for my someday-kids.

Below is a video of the monorail going through the outside area above the parents. It was the last trip in 2005 before Meier and Frank remodeled and became Macy’s. I guess letting a bunch of kids loose on a monorail isn’t safe so they shut it down.

thank you….

My brother is getting married today. I am drinking coffee and providing moral support for Mom while she frosts the wedding cake then we are off to get hair and makeup done. I am pretty excited about it. Also excited to wear my strapless bra that increases my cleavage exponentially. Yesterday (black friday aka hellonearth–explain later) I walked into Victoria Secret and said ‘I want your most massivley padded bra ever.’ and I got it. It is awesome. Also–I am a wee bit heavier than before nursing school–about 5lbs but a lot of that has gone to my boobs. I have never had boobs before and am pretty excited about it. It will be sad when this week is over and I start getting on top of my exercise (my diet just went naturally back to normal. Its amazing how when you are not sitting through 10 hours of class the craving for pop tarts goes away). By getting on top of exercise I mean running a bit, dancing a bit and going to Bikram yoga a bit. I did it once and I have to use up my groupon. I felt really good but also on the verge of barfing. I hope the barfing bit goes away with time.

ANYWAYs-thanksgiving was awesome and hell! Awesome because it was also our rehearsal dinner for the wedding and there were amazing people to talk to and I was in charge of decor and the decor was amazing. The pie I made was amazing and the green bean casserole (from scratch–no canned/frozen products here!). Mom and Dad were in the same room and cordial. My Dad kept his ex-motherinlaw busy which was cool.

It was HELL because I had to work the midnight-10am shift at Macy’s–also my first shift ever. This met no drinking, no overeating (though since I was a part of the cooking it kept me from eating anayway), no staying late and talking. It put a damper on the evening but I figure its good practice for nursing when I never ever get to have holidays off again. The shift was fun. The salesmen I worked with were friendly–after they realized I wasn’t a moron. I can’t believe people really lined up outside for it. I think they did it more for the fun than the shopping. I also can’t believe I didn’t just fall over.

Also- at Macy’s I trained and made friends with a UofO football player. He just graduated and I googled him and he actually played and wasn’t just a bench warmer–like I think he has stats. Anyway he let me play with his UofO Pac10 champion ring yesterday. That thing is BLINGY.

That’s my Thanks Giving–sorry for the wordy post.

running….

I have been running around like a mad person the last few days. I finished Kdrama then had to catch up on everything I had been procrastinating. It started with 2 job interviews for short-term work. I decided to stick with my original goal so instead of doing boring admin work (despite testing and finding out I am a Word and Excel GENIUS!) I took a job with Macy’s as a womens shoes lady. Do you know how much I love shoes? I LOVE shoes. From my dream ideal of Alexander McQueen to the $5 thrift store find. I LOVE shoes. I am going to sell shoes for a month and a half. It is going to be amazing. Oh! and I get comission so I may be able to make a bit more $$. But its mainly to stay sane and keep busy and immerse myself in SHOES!

Also, I finally started hanging out with friends. Its been awesome seeing people I haven’t seen in so long. I have had some good adventures and gone to bed EXHAUSTED each night. I ran around with W’s sister N on Saturday and we went to Andy and Bax and purchased onsie red pajamas and Motor cycle boots. Did you know I love SHOES? I love SHOES!

And of course getting ready for my brothers wedding next weekend and celebrating his birthday. I got him mustaches (I will show you later). I got my hair cut I got SHOES! I got spanx (my first pair but my dress is soooooo tight, flattering, but TIGHT and I don’t think I need them but I wanted an extra layer. Plus I wanted to be like Bridget Jones. I also got a super padded bra so I wouldn’t have to add socks to the ones I have).

I am going to have my niece show me how to do a smokey eye too–she does it so well and every time I do it I look like I got punched in the face.

So that and running errand after errand (catching up on my stuff mainly). That’s what’s happening. Hopefully things (I) will mellow down. Probably not though cause I have [get] to go sell SHOES! SHOES!!

chloroformed romantic….

Before I explain the above statement (and that it is not some weird kinky thing) I must first say that I am a hypocrite. After all my blah blah blahs about Urban Outfitters I totally went there and bought sale stuff while wasting time before a seasonal job interview somewhere else. Just trying to be upfront about my hypocrisy. I did get a super cute clutch for $10 and some shorts for $5 (LA prepping–I don’t think I can do the tights under shorts thing, Sorry Portland).

ANyhoo-the title. Well my friend Th drove across the country with me and she told me about Kdramas (Korean Dramas) and how she wants to move to South Korea and stalk the very handsome lead actor–she blogs about it here. I listened and thought well maybe they are good but nothing warrants moving to South Korea–we have plenty of stalkable movie stars here.

Oh how wrong I was to dismiss the obsession. I started watching last night and I am lost. Friends, family, W…they have all lost me to the world of Kdrama, specifically Boys Before Flowers (BBF-Hulu and Netflixwatchinstant both have it). It is so good. It is like a show made up of the last five minutes of a romantic comedy–heart wrentching and wonderful and it goes on for 25 episodes! Each one has at least 1 dance if not 2, or a tropical vacation, or romantic accident. I want (HAVE) to join her South Korea plans now! I want to only listen to the bad-jazzmuSAK soundtrack! I want to plaster my room with Kdrama posters! I want to be one of the few odd white-girl extras in the background! I want only Kdrama!

So the plot–like the last 5 minutes of a romantic comedy, there isn’t much. It evolves around ragstoriches JanDi who is made to go to a rich school where she is the enemy (AND LOVE!) of the asshole head rich bully. So romantic! She is a klutz and everyone picks on her and the actress does such a good job of playing this smart-kick-ass-bumbling-footinmouth girl. And the lead asshole (not to give it away but he chloroforms, kidnaps, then gives JanDi a makeover in the first episode to show he cares–W, WHY HAVE YOU NOT CHLOROFORMED ME!)…all I can say is my heart melts. Sorry W.

Before you discount my lunacy you should know that South Koreans–whatever style of film they do–it is usually THE BEST. Old Boy is my #2 favorite movie and like BBF based off of a Japanese Manga. Old Boy is a high class film though (not like BBF) and was sooo amazing when it came out that it held back Cannes as it literally arrived under armored gaurd–the only film Cannes has allowed to delay a screening.  I am not going to relay the plot–it is very dark and twisted. But the film is amazing and proof that South Koreans the best when it comes to any kind of film. I have posted the scene where he eats a live octopus before but in case you missed it here it is again (though it is way more powerful in context).