Inprogress….

Oh man, these are so bad right now but we shall see where they go…maybe the dumpster????

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Stolen from cupofJo….

I saw this post on Cup of Jo and and I think it sums up how I am thinking about healthy eating. I can have whatever I want as long as I make it. Except cookies, cake, doughnuts and chips. :)

struggles update….

How am I doing with healthy eating and prize system?

Well, we switched computer systems at the hospital last weekend (huge undertaking and it was amazing to go through and see everyone adapt amazingly and still give THE BEST care–I love my hospital) and I was surrounded by tons of cookies, candies and doughnuts and snacks provided by coworkers or upper management and I did not eat a single piece or part. I didn’t eat so super healthy for my meals but even those weren’t that bad. I have to saw the ONLY thing that kept me from eating everything in sight was the my little self prize system. I wish I were noble but I the only thing I love more than eating crap is cheap stuff. I love stuff. I think I found my success!

I have lost 2lbs! Pretty excited about that–its amazing how much work it takes for a middle aged lady to lose weight. My stomach also looks a little prettier :) (still a massive work in progress though).

The thing is, I know if I have one slip up my will power will crumble. I have to be very strict within my rules. Example: I can have dessert but only for a planned dinner out on a special occasion. I am thinking–not this month, but maybe next–I will cut out alcohol for awhile. I don’t drink that much and even less as late so I think it could be a pretty easy jump just to cut some extra calories. I haven’t decided. Another thing I am thinking about is making lunch mandatory salad–not saying what kind or how much salad just that it has to be salad–to make sure I am eating as many vegetables as possible. What do you think?

Icu lesson of the day….

Don’t just stop taking your blood pressure medicine.

*all ICU lessons have been resulted in death, brain death or permanent ventilator dependency and non responsive.

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Not eating these….

Here I come sweater dress!!!!

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Ugh….

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These are on the desk accross from me and THE ONLY thing keeping me from eating all if them is that $18 asos dress.

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Ugh….

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These are on the desk accross from me and THE ONLY thing keeping me from eating all if them is that $18 asos dress.

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ideas…..

The thing you have to know about me is that I have either THE BEST will power or THE WORST will power. For example I can either eat no candy or all the candy; specifically, I ate no candy atallperiod for 3 years once I broke that I ate literallyasinliterallynotslangfigurativlyliterally 20-30 mini snickers and twix in one sitting. I am an all or nothing lady.

SO! This does not work well for eating healthy because I can’t just eat healthy MOST of the time with the occasional indulgence. It has to be ALL of the time periodnoifsandsorbuts. You know whats hard? Eating healthy ALL of the time periodnoifsandsorbuts.

The only thing I love more than an indulgence–totally what I am calling all crap food from now on so it is classy–are prizes. I love prizes! All kinds of prizes, cheap and expensive! I love them!

SO if order to get on track for only healthy eating I am going to give myself prizes. Instead of staring longingly at a cheap dress on Asos I am going to set up a system wherein I can get that cheap frock as a prize. WIn win because if I actually DO this then I will fit in that cheap dress. AND if I get that dress or whatever prize then I will post a picture of it with me here!

So STARTING TOMORROW! After 1 week of no indulgences (no doughnuts, cookies, chips, etc.) I can get this Asos dress

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If I have no indulgences for 2 weeks starting tomorrow, I can get these H&M sports tights that I really super want:

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IF I make it 3 weeks from tomorrow with no indulgences then I get to get this VS sweater dress I’ve wanted for awhile:

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Thats a lot of prizes but the total is under $100 and would be a good jumpstart to get me going. After this initial 3 weeks then I can do longer goals with maybe some better prizes and cross some larger ticket Items I’ve been needing–what if, I should not even think about it–I even planned a long long term on to get a new camera!!!

struggles….

Susie is 7 Months old today! 7 Months!!!! She is fucking amazing and I cannot believe I love something as much as I love her. She ate chicken–I cannot believe I have a being that eats chicken! It seems so weird!

As happy and content as I am with work, W, Susie and Henry, I am having struggles…with my weight. At first the weight just fell off but with starting work and being exhausted and parenting and stopping breast feeding I gained weight back. I never did reach prepregnancy weight either so I am frustrated. I eat pretty healthy especially while not at work. I think its time I realize I am a middle aged woman, post pregnancy, with a job that I love but that is high stress. I have EVERYthing working against me. I have to not only exercise and eat healthy–I have to eat less; a lot less. a lot lot less. At home I can do this but it will be hard at work. BUT I have plans which, for the time being, I am going to keep private until I actually lose some weight. I still haven’t ever done that before–purposefully, intentionally lost weight. I have to admit that I am not sure that I can–scary! 

So if I say NO to things in the near future–candy, lattees, doughnuts. Please don’t give me a hard time–its super hard as it is.

It is here to that I want to say something–I am super frustrated with all those super trendy mommy bloggers who eat junk food all the time and are the size of tooth picks. I am sorry but that is annoying and ridiculous. I know only 2 people read this blog BUT if I ever review a doughnut or something like that again I will also put how much weight I gained and what sort of insane junk food binge it led too. The one thing I know is that sugar leads to more sugar :)

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pants eulogy….

photo (21)Today, just now, I threw away my favorite pair of jeans. Aptly described as boyfriend (soft well worn and comfortable) and pictured above.

I broke a bottle of Valentina–smashed all over the kitchen floor and splattering all over the front of my jeans.

I knew the jeans were heading to the end. The crotch was wearing thin and growing holes–not in the trendy grungy way of this year’s style.

After they got covered in Valentina I knew it was time and put them in the trash. Its weird throwing something you wear so often in the trash. I know its just clothes but also an outward representation of what I am; I feel like there should be some sort of ceremony.

Anyway–Cheers pants! I will miss you! You got me through a lot–beach trips, car tips, airplane trips, sad trips where I wiped tears [snot] on my knee, pregnant times, baby times, drinks, hangovers, yard work, and good tv. You will be hard to replace and well missed!

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