These are on the desk accross from me and THE ONLY thing keeping me from eating all if them is that $18 asos dress.
I am on nights all the time now. Its okay so far. I had to take some steps up with nursing independence but I am surviving. Its a wee stressful.
The thing I didn’t think about was how much it affects time. I sleep–W got me blackout curtains so sleepwise I am good. But I don’t sleep on a set schedule. Like sometimes I sleep 5 hours, sometimes I sleep 8 hours, sometimes (usually before I start my shifts for the week) I sleep 14 hours.
This means I pretty much have no idea how much sleep I have gotten or if its enough or too much. It also means I have no idea when my morning, evening, or night is. I go to bed anywhere from 12am to 8am. I wake up anywhere from 12pm to 5pm. Its really surreal.
I was also thinking about eating. The first week I lost 5lbs in 3 days. I can’t eat too much at work because I don’t want to get tired and we are sosososo busy–I eat a little throughout the night so I stay sane for my patients (brains work ONLY off carbs and the heart works ONLY off fat). I also have no idea when I should be eating. I don’t have breakfast, lunch, and dinner anymore. Sometimes, at home, I forget to eat until much later because I don’t feel hungry–I get more nauseous–and am overwhelmingly tired after work. At home I get EXTREMELY grouchy, Fail at relaxing by the pool. I cry, breakdown. I then know I must eat.
This is process.
The job is good so far. A lot of learning already but not even the tip of the orientation iceberg. I am making friends with my 2 other fellow ICUers (did I mention I am an ICU nurse!).
More and more I like the health system I work for. That is another post.
Currently and for the next month or so I work a normal work week: 8hr days and 5 days a week. After that I transition into a normal nurse week: 12 hr days and 3 days a week. Once I move to 12hr days I won’t be able to take mass transit but in the meantime its making my life an adventure. Here is my day.
Wake up at 5am and get dressed.drink a smoothie I made the night before.
Walk 5 blocks to the subway through early morning DTLA. Smile mildly at the other early risers and furrow my forehead at all the homeless sleeping along the street. Sad.
Catch the subway before 6am and ride it 3 stops (stops are longer in LA) to Union Station. THE Union Station in a bazillion movies–its gorgeous.
Get on the train around 615; leaves at 630. Put on my headphones and listen to an old episode of This American Life while trying to sleep. I need to bring sunglasses because the train lights are so bright. Don’t worry I set an alarm for my stop.
Get to my station around 7am.
Walk 1.5 miles to my hospital through suburban LA. Dawn surrounded by early morning hummingbirds, lizards and flowers all in gated yards, dirty LA river sluge tributaries, unfriendly busy streets, and weird strip malls.
Get to the hospital at 730 and check blogs/internet.
Orientation at 8am.
Leave the hospital 4-430.
Get to the station by 5.
Lay on a station bench listening to more This American Life and try not to talk to people. I am tired and there are some odd birds that ride the train all day (they don’t check tickets).
Catch the train at 530.
Get off at 6pm at Union Station.
Catch the subway by 610pm.
Get off by 620pm
RUN to boxing at 630. (I have skipped 2 days but promised myself the next 3 days).
Get home at 730.
In bed by 930. But I didn’t sleep more than 2 or 3 hours the first 2 nights. TOO EXCITED! TOO NERVOUS!
Okay- I know its not that bad but going from unemployment to this–sooo tired.
On the train to my new job. Oh god its early and I am anxious. It’s too dark to post a photo out the window. And way way way to early to take a picture of my face.