38 weeks….

Lamest, laziest pregnancy picture ever.

Lamest, laziest pregnancy picture ever. Do you like my green sweatpants? W LOVES them [insert sarcasm]!

I figure I should post every week until this kid comes or else you would have no more updates. No more updates!–you would be so dissapointed!

So how is it being 38 weeks pregnant?!?! Well this week is sucking it up. In fact it is sucking so bad that I might just pretend this week didn’t happen. We shall start again next week. Yes.


Part of it is for reasons that are completely unrelated to pregnancy. Things that I do not talk about here.Words are not enough and since they are not enough I cannot write about it.

The pregnancy part: I am still heavy, getting cervical twinges (not contractions), and am whiny and cry because I love H or W or chocolate or milk SO MUCH and what if they did not EXIST! What if HGTV or the Holly Madison Birth Special was not ON! What if on Flip Flop they did not make $$ on the house (they always make $$ on the house)! AND What if I cannot fit ALL the glasses in the dishwasher! There is a CRUMB on the FLOOR! How do I walk the dog and go swimming?!?! WHAT IF I READ ALL THE BOOKS AND THERE ARE NO MORE BOOKS TO READ! Why does this issue of Vanity Fair not have the good articles!!! Look at H, he is so cute, what if he were NOT that cute! Oh man, the tears! TEARS!

Its getting a little PMSy around here to say the least.

BUT here is the real thing: I went for my weekly checkup with the MD yesterday and while last week he was all ‘I would be surprised if you made it another week!’ This week he asked if I was getting contractions and I said no but cervical sharp twinges and he said ‘Twinges are NOT going to get this baby out!’ I fail at early contractions. Then during my exam he looked at me concerned and said ‘She is upside down [like she has been for months!] but she is not engaged, she is super high…look I can push on the top of  her head from the outside!’

Well fuck SE, my daughter. You are just being an asshole.

They (the healthcare providers) want the fetuses head firmly engaged in the pelvis by now. For first time Moms they want this by 36 weeks. And if she was low last time does that mean she disengaged?? So what does it mean if she is not??? It means A) She is just taking her time about it and will still engage…maybe just hours before labor. B) She will not engage and therefore not come out my vagina. Both options could result in a Csections because with A her cord could prolapse and this is very bad–very very bad. With B, well then she is just an ass and would like her mom to go through surgery.

It is okay to call your fetus on being an asshole right?!? Cause as much as I love and am excited to meet her…she is kind of being an ass right now.

This means that if I were considering home birth or birth center birth, I would no longer be eligible. I wasn’t considering either but its weird to know that I am not in the ‘super normal’ category anymore.

Also my blood pressure was high. Guys! my blood pressure is usually awesome–always under 120 unless you take it right after my morning cup of coffee. My systolic was 136, 4 points shy of preclampsia testing and they wanted a urine (for protein) sample anyway. This sucks–not as much as having it but I COULD have it or be going that direction and it’s scary.

I just see my pretty perfect pregnancy (aside from maybe too much weight gain) getting derailed in the last hooray!. That is not cool, and a bit scary. This week was a reminder of–oh yeah, woman and fetuses can have a hard time or, you know…die from this.

So I will do some more butterfly stretches, squats and bounce around on a yoga ball (for pelvis opening and fetal engagement), and you! SE will engage without getting your cord caught, and we will start again next week.

Meanwhile, Hface and I are going to the beach.







2 thoughts on “38 weeks….

  1. Kristie Swanson says:

    If it eases your mind at all, I had “perfect ” Bp my whole pregnancy with Cole, and at our 39 wk check up it had gone up enough for me to need to come back that friday for a check and maybe some extra testing. Then he was born on Thursday. I asked the dr about it and he said that maybe my body was just already working on labor and that could explain the rise in Bp. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you that that’s all it is and you have this baby soon before she can make a real ass of herself! (Which I think is totally ok to call your baby)

  2. lmsanderswilcox says:

    Yes, I am just going to see what happens at my next appointment. I feel like she is lower today too but I a not counting on it. I need to keep reminding myself I am only 38 weeks and she doesn’t have to come out yet, we still have time to get all situated. 🙂

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