perspective….

I am on nights all the time now. Its okay so far. I had to take some steps up with nursing independence but I am surviving. Its a wee stressful.

The thing I didn’t think about was how much it affects time. I sleep–W got me blackout curtains so sleepwise I am good. But I don’t sleep on a set schedule. Like sometimes I sleep 5 hours, sometimes I sleep 8 hours, sometimes (usually before I start my shifts for the week) I sleep 14 hours.

This means I pretty much have no idea how much sleep I have gotten or if its enough or too much. It also means I have no idea when my morning, evening, or night is. I go to bed anywhere from 12am to 8am. I wake up anywhere from 12pm to 5pm. Its really surreal.

I was also thinking about eating. The first week I lost 5lbs in 3 days. I can’t eat too much at work because I don’t want to get tired and we are sosososo busy–I eat a little throughout the night so I stay sane for my patients (brains work ONLY off carbs and the heart works ONLY off fat). I also have no idea when I should be eating. I don’t have breakfast, lunch, and dinner anymore. Sometimes, at home, I forget to eat until much later because I don’t feel hungry–I get more nauseous–and am overwhelmingly tired after work. At home I get EXTREMELY grouchy, Fail at relaxing by the pool. I cry, breakdown. I then know I must eat.

This is process.

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