black and white….

So you have to excuse my kdrama phase. The nursing job hunt in LA is super hard and depressing and kdrama and thinking about my personal kdrama experiences helps me get through the lack of rejection letters. ‘LACK of rejection letters!’ you say…no its not like that…its like I spend 6-10 hours on an application and hear nothing over and over and over and over. That sortof lack… not the good kind of lack.

Remember how I said W factored in all of my top 3 kdrama experiences. Well I take that back. Sorry W–it really has nothing to do with you–but my second biggest kdrama experience has to do with summer camp.

Some of you know about this–most of you. But it was so very black and so very white–pretty much the ideal kdrama. It was so very innocent and tragic with a hint of romance. Let me try and tell you.

It was understood that my brother and I were to grow up after our first year of college and not return home for the summer–not in a bad way, we were excited and supported in our flight from the nest. So after my freshman year I signed up to be a sailing camp counselor at Camp Sealth on Vashon Island in the Puget Sound.

I am not sure if you have been to summer camp but it is a very idyllic place–at least Sealth was. It was mainly white hues–laughing, singing, playing. A couple dark hues: bee stings, falls. Nothing gray–just white or black.

What followed was the one time I could see the line in the sand between old me and new me. I know there are other lines but this one was the only one time I could see it as it was happening.

There were 3 of us. Fish, our unit leader, Reeses my co-counselor, Tsunami [me–oh camp names]. I was on the beach with my windsurfing kids (with no wind) and our instructor Peace. Reeses was on STO [break] and Fish had her campers. A tree fell. A camper died. No others (not even 6 inches in front of her) were scratch.

I heard it from the beach–I saw the tree fall. I thought it was laughing but it was screaming . I grabbed crying kids. I didn’t see the body. Peace did. They did cpr for what I remember was an hour–I may be wrong but our camp house and teepees were a mile away from main camp on a rural island so it may have been an hour.

There was never any hope. Never. CPR was for preservation of things that could help others.

What came from this was so tragic and clear. I have never seen something else so apart from bias. A child dying from a falling tree–no one can argue that. A child dying that was apart of your responsibility. It hurt. If I had stopped the group heading up the path for 2 seconds longer with chitchat no one would have died. Just a good scare.

In the aftermath it was weird. Lots of crying and singing which sounds cheesie any place but camp. We had an amazing summer with so many memories that are crystal clear–like jumping and skimming my toes in¬†phosphorescent water under the moonlight. Another thing was Peace.

I remember Peace singing softly and playing Romeo and Juliet across the campfire for me. There were 20 other counselors there but it was just for me. I knew and he knew and probably everyone else but we thought no one else did. He was there.

He was only supposed to be at Sealth for a couple sessions so he left after the camper died.

We had a group of kids a session later that we took kyaking in the bay across the island. On the van ride back we passed Peace’s car. He was back. Why was he back? BUT we were driving down and he was driving away– I missed him and he was leaving and I was crying in a van in front of my campers.

We walked up the trail to our cabin/teepees and there on the spot where our camper died on the trail was a note for each of us from Peace that he had left (and a present for me that my brother promptly lost).

He was staying.

We spent the rest of the summer together.

The thing about an environment that is so black and white is that it can never translate to gray. Peace and I never talked again after that summer. For a few years I wondered every once and awhile because he is the sort of person that could be alive windsurfing in Mexico or dead.

Now, I think of him as apart of that line in the sand. My first venture into adulthood.

How kdrama is that?!?!?!

Super kdrama.

and hard.

and missed–innocence.


One thought on “black and white….

  1. Susan says:

    thank you; k-drama sounds a lot like Jane Austen’s stuff only in contemporary Korean ourve…

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