brain issues….

I am scared. Well about a lot of this really: no job, loans…blah blah blah issues most Americans have. In the immediate future I am scared though. I feel it coming–a migraine. Ugh.

I don’t really get them anymore–maybe one every three years and they usually come with a release of huge stress. Well guess what just happened???

I can tell because I tend to get shrill with a touch of hysteria; like my brain isn’t functioning at its highest level.

I can also tell because it feels warm in my brain, behind my eye. That is odd but it literally feels like there is a warm spot behind my eye.

I am hoping that I can sleep more or keep exercising everyday and avoid it. Migraines suck. They vary but no matter who you talk to they suck.

Mine are short (some peoples last for days, mine are around 6 hours) and intense. I tend to scream, cry, barf and press my palms into my opposite eyeball–you know how other pain can make the intense pain less painful. Luckily I have drugs but sometimes they don’t work.

The first migraine I ever had was on Orcas Island. I was watching that Dinosaurs show (you know the one where they had people in dinosaur costumes and there was a Baby that was the hit of the show–sortof like The Simpsons style family). Anyway, I was watching this show and I could not make sense of it. This was not a complex show. It was like I could pick out words and hear and see but I couldn’t put it together in my brain to understand it. I went upstairs and it felt like a hot poker in my brain–I was 12 and my dad just called it a headache and told me to calm down. Migraines are not headaches. I screamed and cried and screamed and cried and barfed all over the stairs. Paybacks a bitch when you don’t believe your kid has a migraine.

I know a lot of people get migraines, but for those who don’t I compared it to a brain freeze you get when you eat ice cream too fast–except it lasts 6 hours. Sometimes I get brain freezes and I start freaking out because I am terrified it won’t end but most times it does….


2 thoughts on “brain issues….

  1. Susan says:

    My migrainy boss said: “At the first thought of ‘MIGRAINE’ take two tylenol.” I didn’t believe her that some over-the-counter pain reliever could do anything to halt such a force. My migraines have changed over the years but I did learn to “take two tylenol” when I think migraine and most often the migraine stops. The aura part, that you described with the TV show not making sense, is almost a separate phenomena and might be stopped with tylenol, too, but I’ve taken Varapomil–an antiarrythmic–for over a decade (am now cutting back in hopes that my aura days are behind me) to allow me to function in an aura filled world. But, even when I wake in the midst of full blown migraine, like I still do some Sunday mornings and I did a week ago, I just took the tylenol, did some biofeedback head games and the migraine sank back into its murky depths. I’m off oxycodone completely now since the last week in July. Sometimes, better living is not through chemicals. Working on the methadone–a longer, slower process because I really, really don’t want to experience withdrawal and it does work with pain management so have to develop core and other coping mechanisms if it is going to work at all, I’m hopeful, however.

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