I am not calm. Sometimes I think people think I am mellow but I’m not. I am sensitive, opinionated, stubborn and often bitchy. I just appear otherwise. This is a problem because it means I don’t say things until there is no point, its too late.
Also– I think a lot. Sometimes this is good sometimes this is bad. Bad because my opinionated self can get worked up into a tizzy.
For instance, this evening I am supposed to hang out with a friend from PDX. The issue is that this friend is notoriously late or double booked. I was excited and made dinner reservations. Maybe I should not have done that and just hung out loosley downtown with this amazing person.
Instead, I am sitting here getting paranoid, trying to decide ‘should I cancel the reservations? Will I offend our favorite restaurant? Will I offend my friend? Will I offend W? Can we make it? Will the El run fast enough? what to do? what to do?’
So the friend just texted and everything is fine. Phew. BUT this is why I keep myself busy with school or working 2 jobs or school/job or volunteering/job/school–I am not good at freetime.