I had to do it. I had to say not raptured because its a beautiful day outside and not the end of days. I shouldn’t make fun of someone’s religion but seriously??? Also-I am a bit hungover from a fun night out last night. It was such a good time–on the way home in the subway this guy was wearing a neon ‘RAPTURE’ shirt and I had to ask him ‘what if it doesn’t happen?’ W look down with his hands over his eyes–but other people one the subway wanted to know. He said ‘It will happen.’ I said ‘fair answer’ and it was our stop.
But it was a grand rapture-eve for me. We go to this gay piano bar where this amazing singer and piano player sings (while surrounded by equally amazing singers going in) showtune after showtune while I stare adoringly and half-waiting for my talents to be discovered. One day he will say ‘Oh no–that really good soprano shouldn’t sing On My Own, you there girl-in-the-pink-hoodie, you should sing it. I can tell just by looking at you you are amazing. What shy??? No!! You have to sing it!’ And then I will humbly take the microphone and bring everyone in the bar to tears with my favorite song from Les Miserable. ‘Encore! Encore!’ and then to show that I am fabulous and not a one trick pony I would follow up with They Can’t Take that Away from Me–at step below Mrs. Fitzgerald because no one is as good as she is/was.
I didn’t start this post to talk about my vocal fantasies. I wanted to say that I was slightly intoxicated last night).
We had a good time but lately I get more and more worried about alcohol and my drinking gets less and less. Part of it is that I am older and drinking takes way too much energy. Another part is that now I know exactly what being drunk is–down to the cellular level–its fucking bad. I know exactly what my body needs for a hangover (fluids and vitamins–especially magnesium and thiamine–and sugar. One of the few times that gatorade is good). Another part is that I know alcohol is the only drug that can kill you from withdrawal. Heroin can kill you from the high but alcohol kills you (in addition to toxicity) also from withdrawal. The other part–I have seen it.
I had a patient who was going through alcohol withdrawal seizures. He had third degree burns on his hand from falling into boiling water during one. Yesterday at the men’s shelter, where I have community clinical, a gentleman was also having withdrawal seizures. The week before a guy asked us to take his dad’s blood pressure because he was passed out from downing a bottle of vodka–his bp was fine. I started to tell him that it might be good for him to quite but for someone who is that drunk so often–you really can’t just quite–you will die. Isn’t that weird though–our group hangs out with a population that we can’t tell just to quite drinking because they will die. Its really sad.
So yes, I like to drink on occasion–I especially like fancy drink menu drinks. But in the back of my mind there is always this notion that alcohol is a sad sad sad drug. So please don’t become an alcoholic drunk in Philadelphia.
PS: the men’s shelter is really awesome. I get to be a minority–its all black men some straight and some gay and some transexuals. Its awesome–they are teaching me how to play east coast pinichole.