Doing: reveling in grouchiness
Reading: Finished Woman in the Dunes finally- had to drop it for philosophy for awhile
Watching: LOTS OF TV!
Listening: Fresh Air
Buying: decaf americano
Sometimes I get grouchy. Today I am very grouchy. I was nauseous on the bus so I am thinking its hormones. Whenever my hormones rage I get queasy at the slightest movement. So nausea and grouchiness=hormones. At some point I am going to do a graphic illustration of my grouchy scale but not today- I am too grouchy. I am reveling in it. I think if it becomes a daily occurrence then there are issues but every once and awhile its perfectly okay to hunker down and just be pissed at nothing in particular…not even pissed at the world…just pissed with a furrowed brow and look at the walls as if you are going to punch them and say ‘WHY are you LOOKING at me?’ like you are 13 again. It is also okay on these days to frown and watch loads of tv.
BTW this has NOTHING to do with giving up coffee last week. So don’t ask. I did buy a decaf americano this afternoon so I might be a tad bit disappointed in myself. Why? You ask. Because I do not have any issues with being caffeinated. I am drinking tea still and definitely have always been good with caffeine habits (too much caffeine is a migraine trigger for me) so that wasn’t the issue. Coffee is actually not that bad for you anyway–lots of anitoxidants or whatever that shit that blueberries have is–its just when you drink pot after pot that it gets to be an issue. I wasn’t doing that. The issue is is that I am addicted to the process of getting coffee. I love wandering up the street and smelling the cafe smells when you open the door. I love the baristas: both friendly and stuck up. I love the taste of a really good lattee, cappuccino, or americano. I love the tipping and the chit chat. I love the break from work.
What I don’t love is that it costs $5 for this ten minute experience. If I had a leisurely morning to spend at a cafe it would be worth it and then some. But as a break from work?? I can not justify spending that sort of money such a short buzz. Plus, just like any addiction, I need it more and more and have a tendency to spend $30 a week at least on coffee. A month of coffee is more than the oh-so-lovely-iridescent-sunglasses I pine for. So I decided it was time to quit.